Parenting Tips: In the Crazy Mommy Zone
We’re going to be late! Get in the car! I don’t care if you haven’t brushed your teeth or combed your hair…WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE! GO… GO…GO…
Can anyone relate to that type of morning? Kids won’t get out of bed. They dawdle and take their time while you are getting more upset by the minute. Before you know it you are yelling at those sweet children you love.
Then when you finally do arrive at your destination you put a smile on your face and act like everything is wonderful while your kids are watching your transformation from crazy mommy to happy mommy.
Sometimes it was like I was watching myself morph into crazy mommy and even though I knew I didn’t want to be that way I let my emotions get the best of me.
Another example of this can be when a child breaks something. If the broken item is something valuable it can be especially hard to stay out of the crazy mommy zone. Over the years there have been things broken and I went to the crazy mommy zone and let me tell you…it was NOT pretty.
Why do we enter the crazy mommy zone? There are a variety of reasons.
Unchecked Emotions
Unmet Expectations
What will people think?
Lack of sleep
And so many more…
We have all been there at one time or another. But is there a better way? Yes!
The problem is that those closest to us usually don’t get our best. We let our guard down and the result can be crazy mommy. The end result of crazy mommy is damaged relationships.
I realized that it was my choice to become crazy mommy. The relationships with my children were more important than what other people thought. The relationships with my children were more important than being somewhere on time. If we arrived on time but the cost was seeing hurt in my children’s eyes…the cost was too high. I knew that I needed to make a change. And the change needed to start with me not my kids.
Here are 4 things that I learned to stay out of the crazy mommy zone.
- Relationships first
The most important thing to remember is that the relationship should be the number one priority. How are we investing in the relationship for the positive or the negative? If the relationship is our priority we will make changes so we are not tempted to go to the crazy mommy zone.
- Changes
No matter what the issue is there are always changes you can make to stop the crazy mommy cycle. In the case of being late…ask yourself, what changes can you make to change the late cycle?
For example…
Set the clocks ahead 5 minutes
Get up 15 minutes earlier
Do things the night before such as making lunch or picking out clothes
Go to bed earlier
Start waking kids up earlier so they have more time to wake up
- Atmosphere
The woman of the home sets the atmosphere for the home. If mom is stressed and anxious the kids will be too. Kids are little sponges absorbing what we say and do. When you get up in the morning, take a few minutes to adjust your attitude. Say some positive affirmations about how you want the day to go. Put a smile on your face and treat your kids how you want to be treated.
- Breathe
It can be helpful to just pause, take a deep breath, and get emotions in check before responding. This is an important way to stop yourself from saying or doing something you can’t take back.
Getting Out of the Crazy Mommy Zone!
When I started applying these principles to my mothering things started to look different. For example, when a child broke something I had a choice. I asked myself this question. What is more important to me… my child or that thing? The answer was always…my child. Therefore my reaction needed to reflect that. When it was something like my gramma’s crystal…that was tough to swallow. But my response to my kid was, “You are more important to me than anything I own. Let’s clean it up together.” I have said that phrase a LOT. But I changed the relationship for the positive with that choice and so can you.
No matter where you are in your mothering journey I pray you put the relationship first. Make choices that reflect that. And always remember that what other people think is NOT more important than what your child thinks and feels.
